His to Protect: A Brook Brothers Novel Read online

  Tears of frustration burned behind her eyes but didn’t fall. As much as she wanted to cry, she couldn’t. She’d become expert in hiding her feelings, because Tanner fed on misery. The more he realized he’d hit the target, the more he’d poke at the open wound.

  She took a quick shower and dressed ready for her dinner with Cole. At least one good thing had come out of this horrendous situation: she’d reunited with a man who’d always been special, even if he’d never realized it. Looking back, Calum had demanded attention with a broody, James Dean vibe, whereas Cole’s quiet, steady manner and pained, crooked smiles had set him apart. What a pity she hadn’t recognized the strength in him back then—but she’d been too dazzled by the bright lights.

  And paid a very heavy price.

  Chapter 3

  Millie allowed plenty of time to walk back to the hotel where she’d arranged to meet Cole. An empty feeling gnawed at her stomach, more nerves than hunger, and she kept having to wipe her clammy palms on a tissue. What if Cole chose to look into her past? How would she stop him from taking too close a look? He’d always been smart, watchful… and stubborn, the type of man to dig in his heels and refuse to let go.

  She considered returning to her apartment, and instead gave herself a good talking to. She either spent the rest of the evening holed up in that disgusting hovel eating ramen noodles and dwelling on her screwed-up life, or she went out with someone who was once a great friend where she’d get to eat a proper meal and reminisce about old times. Happier times.

  She arrived at the hotel ten minutes early and hovered around outside. Several undesirables came and went, a number of whom gave her the once-over. She rummaged around in her purse, reassured when her fingers closed around her can of mace. She’d bought it the moment she’d discovered this hotel was the best she could afford: a mecca for the dregs of society.

  Relief surged through her when she spotted Cole on the other side of the street, his tall frame easily distinguishable from those around him. The way he carried himself—pure cop—commanded a level of healthy respect as people moved out of his path. The setting sun caught the angular cut of his jaw, and the wind ruffled his rich, dark hair. A warmth spread across her chest. How odd that she’d never noticed how handsome he was, even though he and Calum were identical twins.

  Back away, Millie. She’d only just split up with Tanner and already she found herself attracted to someone else. She did not need that complication in her life. She’d have dinner, chat about their schooldays, studiously avoid any questions about Tanner—and hope he really did have a lead on a job.

  He spotted her and waved, then after checking the street was clear, he jogged across. “You should have waited inside.”

  “Safer out here,” she joked.

  He twisted his lips to the side. “You’re probably right.”

  They walked to the subway, making small talk, both clearly trying to find some common ground after ten years apart.

  It was only a short ride to their stop. They ventured back up onto the street in Greenwich Village. Cole opened the door to a restaurant a few minutes’ walk from the station, and she stepped inside the bustling establishment. It had a young, hip vibe, just what she needed to remind herself she was only twenty-eight not sixty-eight. While they waited to be seated, she found herself tapping her foot and nodding in time to the music. And then she stilled. She mustn’t allow herself to be drawn in, to relax too much, in case she said the wrong thing. She couldn’t afford that luxury.

  Cole gave her shoulder a playful nudge. “Someone’s got itchy feet.”

  She nibbled on her lower lip and shook her head. “Sorry.” When his eyes narrowed in confusion, probably because he was wondering why the hell she’d thrown out an apology, she blurted, “Great place,” to cover up her gaffe.

  Cole relaxed and grinned, thank goodness.

  “They’ve just opened a second one on the upper west side. I haven’t been there yet, so I thought it would be safer to bring you here.”

  A member of staff came over, and Cole gave his name. She picked up two menus and indicated for them to follow her. Once seated, Millie took a menu from her and opened it. She withheld a gasp at the prices. The cost of one meal here would pay her grocery bill for the entire week. She couldn’t let him pay for this. Glancing around at the other diners, all well-dressed and groomed, she plucked at her skirt, bought on special at a thrift store. She didn’t fit in here. You don’t fit in anywhere.

  “It’s really expensive,” she whispered in case the next table overheard. “Let’s go get a hot dog or something.”

  Cole glanced up from his menu, a shallow frown drawing his eyebrows inward. “Don’t you like it here?”

  A blush crept up her neck at her unintended rudeness, something Tanner had criticized her for more than once if she’d dared to offer an opinion.

  “It’s lovely. I didn’t mean to insinuate otherwise. But the prices…”

  Cole put his menu on the table and linked his fingers together. His body edged forward, and he expelled a soft breath through his nose. “Forget the money. I wouldn’t take you anywhere I couldn’t afford. But if you’d rather go, then we’ll go. It’s your call.”

  A swathe of emotions rushed through her. It had been so long since anyone had bothered to ask what she wanted. Or to care about the answer. Yet one look at Cole’s intense expression told her if she stood, right that second, and demanded they leave, he would honor her request. Without question.

  She didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay exactly where she was, in the warm, buzzing atmosphere, where the smell of food was so good, her mouth filled with saliva at the thought of tasting it. Not to mention she was sitting opposite a man who was the epitome of kind and gentle. And those hypnotic eyes…deep pools of emerald tinged with a sorrow that hadn’t been there in high school. Still, they’d both changed, both had experiences that had shaped the adults they’d become. Her story was a disastrous one. She couldn’t help being curious about Cole’s.

  She grazed her teeth over her bottom lip. “If you’re sure…”

  His answering smile dazzled her. “Right answer.”

  A laugh bubbled up from deep within her, the naturalness of it coming as quite a surprise. Christ, how long had it been since she’d laughed without faking it? Years? Yet thirty minutes with Cole Brook, and already he’d made it happen.

  “Well, okay then.” She perused the menu. “What do you want me to have?”

  A frown drifted across his face, and he gazed at her, puzzled. “It’s not about what I want you to have. What do you want?”

  She froze, her stomach twisting. She’d revealed too much. Whenever she and Tanner had eaten out, he had always chosen for her. She’d never been allowed to pick her own food, so her question had been a natural one to ask—for her. But from the expression on Cole’s face, he found it extraordinarily strange, his watchful gaze reading more than she wanted him to. She must be extra careful.

  She faked a smile. “Sorry, it all looks delicious. What would you recommend?” She almost tripped over her words in an effort to paper over the enormous crack she’d just opened. “You know, as you’ve been here a few times.”

  His face smoothed, and Millie suppressed a sigh of relief. She’d gotten away with it.

  “Ah, I’m not the best person to ask. Every time I come here, I have the same thing. Mussels, followed by Coq Au Vin.”

  She closed her menu. “Then I’ll have the same.”

  Cole smiled affectionately, which was both familiar and strange. He let the server know they were ready to place their order. She watched him share a joke with the young man who was probably only waiting tables while he worked his way through college and moved on to bigger and better things, and found memories from high school crowding her mind, demanding attention. She rarely allowed herself to think about those days, before she’d made the biggest mistake of her life. But for now, she let the recollections come. Giggling with Cole at the back of science class,
trying to beat him on the running track, and failing miserably. Sneaking into the cinema without paying. They’d been so close back then.

  She fiddled with the silverware and asked herself, for the hundredth time, why she hadn’t been able to see the real Tanner. Why her instincts hadn’t fired up, protecting her.

  “Relax.”

  Millie blinked. Cole’s interjection pushed the memories into the far recesses of her mind.

  She forced her lips into a smile. “Sorry, I was miles away.”

  “Did you get the apartment you went for?”

  She nodded. “It’s not exactly a palace,” understatement of the century, “but it’ll do for now.”

  Cole’s eyes locked on to hers, and he teased at his beard. She forced herself not to fidget under his attentive gaze. Then, he smiled.

  “Manhattan isn’t cheap. I’m lucky I don’t have to fork out for rent. Jax made sure the hotel had space for us all, including Nate, although I expect Calum will want to move out soon, now he’s with Laurella. Those lovebirds will want their own space, no doubt.”

  The way he looked at Millie made her think she was being tested somehow. The furrowed brow, interested expression, and forward body posture as he waited for her reply gave him away. Or maybe she was overthinking things again. It happened a lot these days. She didn’t used to be this indecisive person who would read body language—badly—and then try to figure out the right things to say.

  “I’m glad he’s happy.”

  Cole’s whole face lightened, and his broad smile and twinkling eyes had her belly flipping. She clamped down on the feeling. She didn’t trust her instincts. Cole’s kind and warm personality was oh so tempting after surviving the cruel and toxic past ten years, but she’d been fooled once. She wouldn’t let it happen again. Men were off the menu, no matter how good-hearted they may seem. Besides, Tanner would never let her go. As long as that man still sucked air into his lungs, she was trapped with no option but to hide. And if hiding didn’t work… she’d run.

  “Yeah, he really is.” Nostalgia and a tinge of envy leaked into Cole’s tone.

  Millie could barely believe it when she heard herself utter, “Are you?”

  Cole’s eyes cut to hers, and for a second, she saw behind the happy-go-lucky guy who could always be relied upon to a man whose life was missing something. But then his shutters came down, and he shrugged. “Of course.”

  “Would you like to taste the wine, sir?”

  Millie and Cole both turned to the waiter. She breathed a sigh of relief at the timely interruption. It was dangerous to open that door because he might have asked her the same question.

  “No, it’s fine,” Cole said.

  The waiter poured them both a glass and retreated. She took a tentative sip, reminding herself to keep to one glass. It had been a long time since she’d tasted alcohol. Tanner had preferred her sober when he’d doled out his special brand of hateful diatribe. If she was numbed with alcohol, it might not hurt so much. And we couldn’t have that now, could we?

  “So, tell me about your life since you left New York, and how you’ve ended up back here.”

  Unease stirred in her chest. When she’d accepted his dinner invitation, she’d known he’d ask about her life, and she’d prepared a few stock answers. But now, with Cole sitting opposite, showing her nothing but sincerity and genuine interest, he deserved more than a few well-worn phrases. But the truth? No… she wouldn’t be sharing that. A hint of legitimacy and some carefully chosen facts sprinkled through her answer should suffice.

  “Well, as you know, we moved to Chicago because Tanner got that try-out with the Bears.” She avoided his gaze, instead picking at a stray thread on the tablecloth. “It didn’t work out, but by then we’d made Chicago our home. Chicago is great, but I prefer New York. I always planned to return someday. Tanner adored Chicago from the moment we arrived, so I guess I stayed longer than I’d have liked.” She shrugged and lifted her eyes to his. “When we split up, it gave me the push I needed to come home.”

  “And what have you been doing? Did you ever take that teaching course you planned?”

  She noticed he didn’t delve further about Tanner, but a twinge of disappointment coursed through her at the direction of his questioning. She was devastated at her own failure. For not being stronger with Tanner when she’d tentatively broached the subject of college, and he’d demanded a full-time wife. When she’d tried to put her case across, he’d simply hit back with “But, of course, if you feel you can cope with both, well…” (insert a perfectly nonchalant shoulder shrug). If only she’d realized then what a master manipulator he was. How easily persuasion tripped off his tongue. She should have known his behavior wasn’t normal from the get-go, but she’d been so flattered and in love—or so she’d thought—that she’d believed it meant he cared about her.

  In reality, her isolation made it easier for him to exert control.

  “No. I kept meaning to, but then time kind of got away from me.”

  Cole’s fingers crept across the table, and he touched the very tips to hers. “It’s never too late.”

  On instinct, she withdrew her hand. Living for years with an abusive partner, albeit one who’d never laid a finger on her, meant always thinking the worst of the most innocent situations. Tanner had often taken a moment of affection and turned it into a ruse to soften her up, and then he’d hit out at her by saying some terrible things that slowly stripped away her self-esteem day by day, month by month, year by year.

  “It is for me.” Her words came out soft, barely audible. She dropped her head so she didn’t have to witness the concern etched across Cole’s face.

  “What happened to you in Chicago?”

  And there it was, the question she’d known would come. Give him his due—he’d waited longer than most people would have.

  She shook her head and reached for her glass of wine, needing to grab hold of something to steady her and slow down her thundering heart. She took a sip and lifted her chin. One look at Cole told her she had to give him something. A few crumbs.

  “Life wasn’t easy, Cole. Tanner did his best. All he ever wanted was to be a football player, but unfortunately, he damaged his knee, which ended his playing career. The club took him on as a coach, but it was hard for him, you know, to watch others living his dream.” A quick shrug, aiming for detached, casual, even though those few words hid a horror she’d barely survived with her spirit intact. “I guess over the years it’s taken its toll. I’m no longer that eighteen-year-old girl who never thought anything bad would happen, who assumed she’d sail through life while her idealistic fantasies became reality without too much effort.”

  A look of embarrassment crossed his face, a slight flush creeping over those chiseled cheekbones. It was hellishly endearing.

  “Sorry, that was rude of me. Just because we were friends at school a gazillion years ago doesn’t give me the right to pry into your life.”

  Talk about making me feel bad.

  This time, she touched his fingertips with hers. A brief connection, meant as an apology.

  “Shall we talk about something else? Tell me about Jax’s hotel and how that came about.”

  His answering grin told her he was as relieved as she that he’d been able to navigate a tricky situation.

  “He opened it on New Year’s Eve last year. It was a former home, but Jax worked his nuts off to make it work as a boutique hotel, and it’s already turning a healthy profit. Bookings increase every month. I’m proud of what he’s achieved.”

  Cole leaned back to allow the waiter to set down their appetizers. When he’d retreated, Millie laid her napkin in her lap and picked up her silverware. The smell coming from the delicious plate of food in front of her had her mouth watering and her stomach demanding she wolf it down as fast as possible. Instead, she delicately picked a mussel from its shell and popped it into her mouth. She chewed, then swallowed, the delicious flavor exploding on her tongue.

&nbs
p; “Oh my God, you weren’t joking,” she said. “These are amazing.”

  He nodded. “Right? Now you know why I always choose them.”

  “I think they may be the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

  “Wait until you taste the entrée.”

  Millie tapped her wineglass against Cole’s. Now the moment she’d dreaded was over—Cole’s interest in her past—she could finally relax. “To great food and even better company.”

  “I’ll second that.” He sipped his wine, watching her over the rim of his glass. “So, about this job you said you needed,” he tossed in casually.

  Her heart leaped into her throat, and she swallowed. She hadn’t wanted to bring it up. It seemed…crass somehow. But now he had, excitement tinged with a good dollop of hope rushed through her.

  “Oh yeah,” she said, purposely keeping her tone light and airy. “You mentioned something about that yesterday.”

  Please know something. Please know someone. Please let it be real.

  “One of our front desk clerks at the hotel is leaving to have her second baby, and she’s already made it pretty clear she doesn’t plan to return after her maternity leave. I’m sure it’s not your dream job,” he continued, oblivious to the relief storming through Millie, “but the pay isn’t bad, although sometimes the hours can be long if we’re short of cover, especially during holidays and the like. And you may have to double up as bartender slash waitress when the need arises.”

  “Oh, Cole. That’d be fantastic, really amazing. I don’t have any experience, though.” Heat filled her cheeks. Did she sound too desperate?

  He gestured dismissively with a flick of his wrist. “You’re great with people, that’s the only essential element. Tanya can teach you everything else before she leaves.”

  “And is Jax okay with it? Y’know, with it being his hotel and all.”

  “It’s our hotel,” Cole corrected in a firm voice, as though he’d had to say the same thing several times. “And Jax will be fine. We’re all responsible for finding the right replacement… and now I have.”